I thought it was about time that we touched on our feelings, we all have several things in common. What are those things? In a nutshell we all got sick we all suffered and we all ended up with a Stoma. This might seem like a basic way to describe it & do forgive me if you think that my description is to general, but at the end of the day regardless of how each and every one of us reached this point in our lives we are all now Ostomates.
In life we all deal with things in different ways when I had my surgeries I wasn’t angry I was happy and sad all at the same time. It is normal to have all of these reactions to how your life has changed. We all have emotions, these are just chemicals flying around in our bodies. So how do you feel? I am not perfect by far in fact I’m open and honest and I think I deal with things very differently to others. I try to just crack on with my life & enjoy it & I am grateful everyday for my little Billy.
However I do get my days when I generally just have a cry, this is normal, you should all understand that, we are happy to be here but sometimes you just wish for a day to be bagless. I know I do, when my bags leaked I have to clean myself up make sure I haven’t got S##T running down my leg or stains on my clothes. Bag leaks at night are the worst I have had to wake my husband up, change the bedding, change my bag, have a shower then try to get back to sleep. This is the time when I am sad not angry just sad this is when I have my tears this is when I feel like I want to be normal. As soon as I have had my cry I feel better I feel like the happy emoji.
I believe our acceptance of ourselves is a process of stages these stages will lead us all in the right direction. After 28 years of having a stoma I have gone through all of these stages in my development to accept myself. I had to accept that this is me and I that I can’t change that, all I can do is move forward in a positive way. I had to tell myself that I needed to go through these stages to get me to that happy emoji.
I have read so many things lately where other Ostomates are going through each stage and are learning to accept who they are and to love themselves. So go through each stage be Angry, be Sad but don’t get stuck in just one stage, try to reach that happy emoji. Always talk these feelings through with someone. Always remember you need to love yourself the complete you is you and your Stoma. Always remember that your stoma saved your life, made you strong, independent and wise. So when you are Angry or Sad tell yourself that this is a normal way to feel but always get to that happy emoji😊 and always remember that there is no future in the past!!