After my surgeries I was happy to still be here I wanted to work, dance and party and enjoy life. I did just that had my own place a good job and good mates to go out with I love to dance and I looked forward to going out dancing every weekend. I let go I finally was well and Lisa was here to stay.
I am sure that everybody is looking for love but when you have a bag stuck on you things just feel a little bit complicated normal questions you ask yourself feel amplified. I always had a rule if I went out on a date I would say I have an ileostomy usually the response would be whats that? I would explain what it was, and that was it, this is me, take it or leave it.
I had my daughter when i was 23 years old the relationship with her father wasn’t good and eventually ended. I moved back to the South West living at home with my parents and my 4 year old. I got us a little flat and found being a single mother quite easy. I became a student and took a business management course. This fitted in well with my lifestyle. Money was tight but I managed to budget really well, pay my bills and my daughter never went without.
I was at a party when I spotted him he had this handsome face and beautiful eyes. I remember after the party going into a club and I spotted him again I just couldn’t stop looking at him.
I went home back to my normal life, then a few months later I was at another party and he walked in. I was sat next to his mates blind date they both came and sat down with us. I thought to myself this is the man that I couldn’t stop looking at months ago unbeknown to me he had been checking me out that first night too. We talked for hours then went onto a club. I told him I had an ileostomy he wasn’t sure what that was but didn’t care either. I gave him my number and really hoped he would call me to go out for a date.
The next day he messaged me and said he would like to take me out sometime. Later that week I was bathing my daughter when the phone rang & he asked me out to lunch. I was over the moon he picked me up from my place we went to the local pub for lunch. We talked all afternoon then I went off to collect my daughter from school.
He took me on so many dates to so many places I was completely & totally in love with him I had never felt this way before. I had insecurities I would ask myself why would someone this perfect for me want a woman with a bag. He could have anyone, I have big scars, my body isn’t the same as other women, why would he like me. When you have your clothes on you feel normal, with your clothes off you feel different, that is how I felt. These insecurities are normal but they need to be addressed and you need to get your head around them. I was so lucky that he loved me the way that I loved him and helped me to understand that I had nothing to be insecure about. He wanted to be with me, having a bag has never been an issue for us.
I have found that as an Ostomate we need to give ourselves less of a hard time there are so many people that don’t like something about their body. I am so lucky to have found my true love, he really is the other half of me. I am a complicated person and know that my husband is the only person that knows the real Lisa. I am bubbly, happy, kind hearted and strong it has been said that I am aloof I have even been called stuck up. I’m not, I just know that I am honest I am not that person that needs to be the loudest in a social situation. I just love being me and don’t like falseness I believe we should be true to ourselves and all you can be in life is a good person. If you are a good person that shines through. I like to surround myself with people that are like minded, good hearted and fun.
We are all complicated in our own way finding true love isn’t easy, you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince, be upfront, say this is me and you will find your true love. He or she is out there I believe there is someone for everyone. You meet each other when you are ready, it just happens. Tell yourself I am worthy of a persons love never feel scared of your feelings and insecurities embrace them, tackle them. The moral of this story is you have to love yourself before you can love somebody else!